


Oh Christmas Tree

by GretchenSinister



Series: GretchenSinister's 12 Days of Blacksand [2]
Category: Rise of the Guardians (2012)
Genre: Christmas Sweaters, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-14
Updated: 2020-03-14
Packaged: 2021-03-01 00:01:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 455
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23135824
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GretchenSinister/pseuds/GretchenSinister
Summary: DAY 2 - The Season of Ugly Sweaters
Relationships: Pitch Black/Sanderson Mansnoozie
Series: GretchenSinister's 12 Days of Blacksand [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1662955
Kudos: 4
Collections: Blacksand Short Fics





	Oh Christmas Tree

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on Tumblr on 12/13/2013.

“Okay. I do like it,” Pitch grudgingly admits as he puts on the red-and-green-striped sweater. “But not because it’s Christmassy. You know that, right?”

Sandy smiles and nods before floating up to kiss Pitch on the cheek. Did he forget who had brought him up to speed on pop culture in the first place? In any case, the sweater solved both their problems. Pitch wouldn’t be wearing something he hated, and he wouldn’t look like a stick-in-the-mud for completely refusing to participate in the theme of North’s party.

“You know I’m never going to make a good impression on them,” Pitch says. “I still can’t believe I was invited to stay the night just like everybody else.”

Don’t drink and fly, Sandy signs, shrugging.

Pitch shakes his head. “Anyway, what are you going to wear?”

Sandy beckons him over to a dresser that Pitch wasn’t sure had been in the Dreamland room a few minutes before, opens a drawer and pulls out a truly astonishing article.

“You can’t be serious,” Pitch says, staring open-mouthed at the sweater. The green wool is intertwined with a great deal of glittery gold thread, and Pitch can see other random blobs of color knitted into the fabric. Also, the whole thing is strangely lumpy.

Sandy laughs silently and pulls the sweater on. Once he’s wearing it, the presence of the lumps is clarified, and Pitch can feel his expression changing from mere surprise to full dismay. The body of the sweater has been knitted to simulate a Christmas tree, complete with garland and ornaments on the “branches” that the pointy lumps seem to be trying to simulate. Sandy explains helpfully that his face is the star at the top of the tree.

“That…that is the worst item of clothing I have _ever_ seen,” Pitch says.

Sandy beams at him, apparently quite proud of looking like a small, chubby pine tree. He swoops up to give Pitch a kiss on the corner of his mouth. Pitch’s expression softens, and he begins to turn to make the kiss a proper one, before stepping back, his hands raised in front of him. “Don’t you dare, Sandy! I’m not making out with you while you’re wearing that horrible sweater! I refuse to have such memories associated with that thing!”

Sandy grins and winks at him. That’s what he says now, but they’ll see what tune he’s singing after North’s party.

* * *

The tune, as it happens, turns out to be a rather alarmingly modified version of “O Christmas Tree”, sung at the unmodulated volume of the intoxicated, which disturbs the rest of the Guardians staying at North’s—though not as much as the more muffled sounds that follow the end of the song.

**Author's Note:**

> Tags and Comments from Tumblr:
> 
> #That's totally a Freddy Krueger sweater Pitch is wearing#The morning after the party EVERYONE is embarrassed#except for Sandy#he got laid in the worst sweater ever#hell yeah he's gonna be proud of that#also if he made the sweater he should be extra proud#because the design I made up would be really really complicated to knit
> 
> tejoxys said: Ahahaha oh nooo, it’s funny enough on its own, and then your tags killed me. And oh my gosh, what a glorious sweater.
> 
> whentheoceanmetsky said: What if there is a traditional “Who can get laid in the ugliest sweater” challenge. Losers have to listen to North’s rendition of Santa Baby. (It’s his favorite song. He gets really into it. There may be Madonna impersonations.) /whispers its rlycute
> 
> bowlingforgerbils said: that last paragraph slayed me.
> 
> sugarpanda07 reblogged this from gretchensinister and added:  
> I’ve lost my ability to can. This is brilliant.#I'M STILL GIGGLING LIKE A DORK
> 
> marypsue said: That is /astounding/ and I burst out laughing at ‘O Christmas Tree’.


End file.
